No Boxspring Bird within earshot

Upon coming home from the laundromat (yes, the damn apartment washing machine is still broken), La noticed that our upstairs neighbor was all done up and leaving the apartment with a date. It was a Sunday, just like the last time she uncaged the Boxspring Bird (ee EE ee EE ee EE!). I was hopeful and expecting a late night wake up call.

I know I should be minding my own business. I'm just rationalizing that it becomes my business when the sound waves travel through the ceiling. They're my sound waves, now! Over the past few weeks a story has unfolded in my mind about her life. You can tell a lot about a person through the sound they make above you.

She gets up in the morning around 7, and for some reason her feet weigh 50 pounds heavier than at night. Right out of the shower, she must put on her high heels because for the rest of the morning I can track exactly where she is in her hardwood floor apartment. She slams open the garage door that make a distinct noises that sound like 3 deep heartbeats. Then, her car starts with an odd wheezing yelp. It's a noisy morning. On the last 3 or 4 weekends (after the moaning marathon), she has been blasting sad music in her living room. I must have heard Beck's Sea Change album on repeat on at least 4 occasions. It made me want to see if she's okay or even just give her a hug. This is what made me root for her last night.

Around 11pm last night, she came home with another set of footsteps and a deep voice. Giggling ensued. It was going to be so on! I fell asleep waiting for something to happen above me. I think I might have heard a moan, but that was probably a dream. 7am this morning, she got up, the deep voice still present. No morning nookie. I can't help to feel disappointed for her. For all I know, it could have been the story of bad intentions turning into a sweet "let's just hold each other" night.

I'm still rooting for you, girl!

Gum jingle or Pussycat Dolls song?

Get your skis shined up. Grab a stick of Juicy Fruit.
The taste is gonna move you.
Take sniff. Pull it out.
The taste is gonna move you when you pop it in your mouth.
Juicy Fruit is gonna move ya.
It chews so soft, it gets right to ya.
Juicy Fruit...
The taste, the taste, the taste is gonna move ya.

The images aren't even implicit or subliminal. I haven't seen this commercial since Saturday Morning cartoons of yesteryear. I have to admit, I got a little hot and bothered watching it.
I swear...put a Neptunes or a Timbaland beat on this with Justin Timberlake rapping the lyrics...certified platinum!

5 things I learned playing DDR for the first time that are similar to sex

1. It might be more fun with a group (but solo is fun)
2. I can drink beer while doing it
3. I look like a spaz while doing it
4. Practice makes perfect
5. Playing a few rounds before work is fun

Uh! Uh! Uh! Ahhhh!

Last night, I was woken up by my neighbor upstairs. I talk to her every now and then, in passing. But I've never heard her like I did last night. And 4 times, at that! The first time her and her man friend woke me up, it was kinda hot. Voyeuristic and naughty. It didn't last long (5-10 mins) and I fell asleep quickly after.

The second time took me by surprise. But the novelty of it all was kind of fun. She has lived in the apartment above me for a few months, but never had relations. You go girl!

The third time started to get annoying. I intentionally went to bed at 10 to get a full night's rest. It was becoming ridiculous. But then again...I was happy for her. Happy for someone I don't know very well. It happened a couple of more times, but I got over it.

La couldn't fall asleep after the first time. She's a light sleeper. At least he couldn't last long, I said trying to console. Apparently, I slept through the first 15 minutes of each act. Oh. Well, at least she enjoyed herself. La said she could tell that she only enjoyed the first time. Go figure.